97 replies to this topic

[Drakonid]

So, how many friends have you lost since the last self pity thread?

[iargue]

So, how many friends have you lost since the last self pity thread?

12, but that is irrelevant. I never wanted this to be a pity thread.

[Juturna]

When things start to go wrong, do you do everything wrong and ruin it?

I always try to push people away, even when things are going good.

This this.

When I feel like crap, I typically self destruct my life, and quit the internet. Not good.

[Drakonid]

12, but that is irrelevant. I never wanted this to be a pity thread.

You appear to have a misconception of what a friend is. Besides, if that was not your purpose, you might want to change your general attitude, as I seem not to be the only one who thinks that way.

Edited by Drakonid, 03 June 2011 - 03:27 AM.

[iargue]

You appear to have a misconception of what a friend is. Besides, if that was not your purpose, you might want to change your general attitude, as I seem not to be the only one who thinks that way.

I don't care if other people think this is about me. As long as they actually talk to me about how they react, then I'm happy.

[Jake]

He's right.

Hey everyone, meet me in Tinychat in about 20 mintues and tell me all your grief. So I can laugh! I am very understanding and caring.

OH pish posh I know you just show your penis on there.

I don't care if other people think this is about me. As long as they actually talk to me about how they react, then I'm happy.

I'm sure everyone in this thread assumed it was about you, most of us are giving you home run advice; at the same time they are all tied in together, yet you are pushing it away.

[iargue]

OH pish posh I know you just show your penis on there.



I'm sure everyone in this thread assumed it was about you, most of us are giving you home run advice; at the same time they are all tied in together, yet you are pushing it away.

I'm listening to the advice, and I appreciate it. But its not why I made this topic at all

[DragonX]

I used to always start pushing people away or just give up when things go wrong. But, I always wonder what would of happened if I give things another chance.

I make an effort to try to remember that no one is ever perfect, myself or others, now. If I'm hurt, I take a break from life ... mope and sleep... and then start over and think about what to do when I'm less emotional about it. Other people may make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes are the ones that hurt me, but then I remember, I make them too. There will be arguements and wrongs made in every relationship, but if it's important to me, and to the other person, we'll talk about it and the relationship can move from there. We'll forgive each other and both learn from the experience, and I think that's how relationships get stronger.

Sure, sometimes things will end, or maybe it will change and never go back to the way they were, but I think it's important to at least discuss the issue. I'll remember who I am and I'll stand up for myself, but I make a point of hearing the other side and changing if I made a mistake. If things are meant to be, it'll happen. If not, we'll both move on.

[weaboo]

Aw, well I self harm, But when things go wrong, yes I always push people away because I can't trust anyone anymore.
I often lash out on others mainly those who love or care for me. Bleh

I had to face each day like i'm being forced to live, If I had my way, I'd be long gone..


Sorry for such depressing bull, It's how I feel

[iargue]

I used to always start pushing people away or just give up when things go wrong. But, I always wonder what would of happened if I give things another chance.

I make an effort to try to remember that no one is ever perfect, myself or others, now. If I'm hurt, I take a break from life ... mope and sleep... and then start over and think about what to do when I'm less emotional about it. Other people may make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes are the ones that hurt me, but then I remember, I make them too. There will be arguements and wrongs made in every relationship, but if it's important to me, and to the other person, we'll talk about it and the relationship can move from there. We'll forgive each other and both learn from the experience, and I think that's how relationships get stronger.

Sure, sometimes things will end, or maybe it will change and never go back to the way they were, but I think it's important to at least discuss the issue. I'll remember who I am and I'll stand up for myself, but I make a point of hearing the other side and changing if I made a mistake. If things are meant to be, it'll happen. If not, we'll both move on.

What about if they don't let you discuss the issue? How do you resolve the conflict then? Do you give up and move on?

Aw, well I self harm, But when things go wrong, yes I always push people away because I can't trust anyone anymore.
I often lash out on others mainly those who love or care for me. Bleh

I had to face each day like i'm being forced to live, If I had my way, I'd be long gone..


Sorry for such depressing bull, It's how I feel

Had any good ever came from the way you are acting? Have you ever gotten what you wanted by hurting yourself or by pushing those people away?

[DragonX]

What about if they don't let you discuss the issue? How do you resolve the conflict then? Do you give up and move on?

I'll let them know that I'm hear to talk if they ever want to and that I do care about how they feel. We both entered into a relationship because we obviously felt something for each other and perhaps things changed since then, but I still care about everything, even if things don't work out. I'll try my best to put my emotions aside and not be confrontational .. and let them know that I just want to talk about how I feel and about how they feel, regardless of who is right or wrong or more right or more wrong. I don't know where we'll go from here but I just want to talk about it and try and understand why things ended up how they are.

It's easier said than done .. especially if I'm really angry, but it's what I try to do, at least once I've had some time.

Usually, I've found that if I'm not accusing and emphasize just wanting to discuss it, over time, people are willing to talk. I try to do more of the "It upset me when ___"s rather than "You ___"s. Chances are if it hurt me, it also hurt them.

And, if they're really insistent on just never speaking again... I'll leave it alone and respect their decision. But, I'll let them know that I appreciate everything they did, that I'll always be up for a conversation, and that I'm sorry for whatever wrongs I may have done. I show them I care, but I can't have a one-sided conversation with someone completely bent on not saying a word to me.

Edited by DragonX, 05 June 2011 - 02:39 PM.

[luvsmyncis]

What about if they don't let you discuss the issue? How do you resolve the conflict then? Do you give up and move on?

I handle it like this: I think to myself, "Fuck that motherfucker", fume, have unsettling nightmares about the matter, and then hold a grudge against them and anyone who remotely resembles them for the rest of my life.
And I'm okay with it.

[weaboo]

Lmfao, I can see what your guna try making me realise, But when I harm myself, it's like a drug... It makes me forget about my shit and my pain (blah blah) for a couple of hours.
Also I'm not really good with words hence I use things to get back at people, like in high school, when there was arguments, I talked so little and hit alot more, Because I'm like short tempered, I don't even think it's that, I think I'm more of a pussy with words haha. I'm not that confident with people either. I was so willing to do everything couple of months ago, Now the slightest "you can't do it" will put me down & yeah, to be honest it's like my pride going down the drain at the end of the day eh? My mum thinks i'm going mad, Lol. I just don't know what to do anymore, I can't even cry at home or near people anymore, because they'll be like "oh she's in depression again" wtf? So like 3 days ago, I went out to go see my doctor I was already like 20mins late, Yet I head out (LMFAO) And rather than taking the bus back home, I actually walked (1 hour and like 20mins) just so I could cry, seriously? Haha

Honestly, I laugh at how stupid I am some times. Thanks for letting me share *sobs*

[without123]

Lmfao, I can see what your guna try making me realise, But when I harm myself, it's like a drug... It makes me forget about my shit and my pain (blah blah) for a couple of hours.

Thats brave. I've delt with shit, but I'm so scared of pain xD I just bawl my eyes out and feel depressed.

Anyway, onto topic. Yes, I used to be self destructive; I didn't care about anyone. Just myself. And intead of trying to fix my problem, I just continually blamed others because it was easier. I realised; no one can MAKE you feel anything. Hurt. Anger. Desperation. Its all in your head. Only you can feel that shit. I feel better now; just lonely. My longest friendship is only like 4-5years? The rest of my friends I've made this year as I forced my best friend away last year as I realised no matter how happy she made me, she was detrimental to my mental wellbeing. She really did make me happy though (But she was suicidal, and brought me down to ease her insecurities). Also, my mum was constantly yelling at me OMG [MY NAME], [HER NAME] IS BRINGING YOU DOWN. LOOK AT YOUR GRADES. YOU SKIPPED CLASS? YOUR GETTING C'S. YOU WORTHLESS SLOB. ect, ect. I remember my mother crying for me to 'get better'. Sometimes I regret breaking up with this friend; but I've made many more, even though they're not as close. They're enough.

[weaboo]

Thats brave. I've delt with shit, but I'm so scared of pain xD I just bawl my eyes out and feel depressed.

Haha, I feel so disgusted after though, So it's something I try not to do, When I lost my daughter months back, I cut her name into my arm and jee.
It's faded now, So I wanna do it again, but maybe a tattoo.. Oh hang on I already have a tattoo with her name D:

grrr lol, Running outta space

I just bawl my eyes out and feel depressed.

I wish I had it like that, Instead I take the shit out on myself because i keep holding myself responsible for everything that happens
Seriously, I used to consider myself some Bad luck girl. haha. XD ^__^

[Charity]

I am very self destructive. First guy I fell in love with.. made him dump me for no good reason. I tend to like to ruin everything around me before it has a chance to be good.

[iargue]

I handle it like this: I think to myself, "Fuck that motherfucker", fume, have unsettling nightmares about the matter, and then hold a grudge against them and anyone who remotely resembles them for the rest of my life.
And I'm okay with it.

Do you not think that will ruin future relationships that you have with people if you eventually hate everyone? What will you do if you end up with no friends, rely on cats?

Lmfao, I can see what your guna try making me realise, But when I harm myself, it's like a drug... It makes me forget about my shit and my pain (blah blah) for a couple of hours.
Also I'm not really good with words hence I use things to get back at people, like in high school, when there was arguments, I talked so little and hit alot more, Because I'm like short tempered, I don't even think it's that, I think I'm more of a pussy with words haha. I'm not that confident with people either. I was so willing to do everything couple of months ago, Now the slightest "you can't do it" will put me down & yeah, to be honest it's like my pride going down the drain at the end of the day eh? My mum thinks i'm going mad, Lol. I just don't know what to do anymore, I can't even cry at home or near people anymore, because they'll be like "oh she's in depression again" wtf? So like 3 days ago, I went out to go see my doctor I was already like 20mins late, Yet I head out (LMFAO) And rather than taking the bus back home, I actually walked (1 hour and like 20mins) just so I could cry, seriously? Haha

Honestly, I laugh at how stupid I am some times. Thanks for letting me share *sobs*

I am not trying to make you realize anything. I'm curious as to your insight into things

What you have to do is just spend time alone. Seriously. Go somewhere alone, that has natural beauty and just think about everything. You will realize everything that has happened in your past, and you will realize that you are more then strong enough to carry on for the next day, and the next after that. And you will realize that if one person thinks that you cant, or if everyone thinks that you cant, you know you can.

Thats brave. I've delt with shit, but I'm so scared of pain xD I just bawl my eyes out and feel depressed.

Anyway, onto topic. Yes, I used to be self destructive; I didn't care about anyone. Just myself. And intead of trying to fix my problem, I just continually blamed others because it was easier. I realised; no one can MAKE you feel anything. Hurt. Anger. Desperation. Its all in your head. Only you can feel that shit. I feel better now; just lonely. My longest friendship is only like 4-5years? The rest of my friends I've made this year as I forced my best friend away last year as I realised no matter how happy she made me, she was detrimental to my mental wellbeing. She really did make me happy though (But she was suicidal, and brought me down to ease her insecurities). Also, my mum was constantly yelling at me OMG [MY NAME], [HER NAME] IS BRINGING YOU DOWN. LOOK AT YOUR GRADES. YOU SKIPPED CLASS? YOUR GETTING C'S. YOU WORTHLESS SLOB. ect, ect. I remember my mother crying for me to 'get better'. Sometimes I regret breaking up with this friend; but I've made many more, even though they're not as close. They're enough.

Sometimes friendships don't always work out the way that you expect them to work out. You expect certain hings to happen in life, or for people to understand when they hurt you. But its not always clear to people how you feel on matters, and sometimes they hurt you without meaning to, or they hurt you because its the only option they see available. The important thing is to always make sure that you are doing something that will help you more then hurt you in the long run.

I am very self destructive. First guy I fell in love with.. made him dump me for no good reason. I tend to like to ruin everything around me before it has a chance to be good.

Why do you ruin these things though? Do you freak out with where they are going? Do you grow bored with them until you miss them when they are gone?

And you are self destructive whenever everything is going fine? Are you worse when they are all going wrong?

[weaboo]

What you have to do is just spend time alone. Seriously. Go somewhere alone, that has natural beauty and just think about everything. You will realize everything that has happened in your past, and you will realize that you are more then strong enough to carry on for the next day, and the next after that. And you will realize that if one person thinks that you cant, or if everyone thinks that you cant, you know you can.

I've tried that, The thing is, I'm unable to find myself amongst everything anymore. I just even feel myself living
Everyday it's like why am I living? And it's like i'm being forced to live

the other day, I was in the car with my friend and i didnt realise we were going out until half way the journey and it was a mall we went to and i was so damn scared infront of everyone
(i have a phobia of people and crowds) everyone looked like they were staring at me and laughing jee.

[iargue]

I've tried that, The thing is, I'm unable to find myself amongst everything anymore. I just even feel myself living
Everyday it's like why am I living? And it's like i'm being forced to live

the other day, I was in the car with my friend and i didnt realise we were going out until half way the journey and it was a mall we went to and i was so damn scared infront of everyone
(i have a phobia of people and crowds) everyone looked like they were staring at me and laughing jee.

What you have to realize is that if anyone is staring at you in a crowd, its because your hot. That's the only reason why anyone bothers to look at anyone else while milling around in a crowd. If your ugly or a freak, then they will just try hard not to stare, but if they think that you are hot, they will check you out.

[weaboo]

What you have to realize is that if anyone is staring at you in a crowd, its because your hot. That's the only reason why anyone bothers to look at anyone else while milling around in a crowd. If your ugly or a freak, then they will just try hard not to stare, but if they think that you are hot, they will check you out.

That's a very good way of putting it.

[luvsmyncis]

Do you not think that will ruin future relationships that you have with people if you eventually hate everyone? What will you do if you end up with no friends, rely on cats?

In general, I always say I hate all people. But, I've come to realize that, oddly, people find there is a certain charm about my hateful nature, so I'm not really worried about future relationships because no matter how shitty I can be, others seem to accept it.

Rely on cats for what?
I don't NEED friends. I don't NEED people to love me. It's always nice to be loved or have friends, but I have gone years without either in the past and it wasn't the end of the world. I don't depend on other people to fulfill me. I am just fine on my own because I am completely comfortable with who I am.

[iargue]

In general, I always say I hate all people. But, I've come to realize that, oddly, people find there is a certain charm about my hateful nature, so I'm not really worried about future relationships because no matter how shitty I can be, others seem to accept it.

Rely on cats for what?
I don't NEED friends. I don't NEED people to love me. It's always nice to be loved or have friends, but I have gone years without either in the past and it wasn't the end of the world. I don't depend on other people to fulfill me. I am just fine on my own because I am completely comfortable with who I am.

People like your hate whenever its not directed at them, because they find it funny. But if you hated everyone like you hate on some people, I don't think anyone would be your friend. Unless they like abuse

Are you capable of living without social interaction though? Would you be able to be a hermit, or would you always want to talk to people?

[iChelsea]

Yeah I have long history of shutting everyone who was ever close to me out of my life. Theres one person I haven't though, my best friend.

I also have a history of cutting, and im pretty self conscious of the scars, even though they aren't that bad.

Whenever i spend time alone, i end up just depressing myself. I have to keep distracted with the computer, or shopping, tv anything.

I used to be catholic but lost my faith almost a year ago now, and I am still struggling with it. I get really depressed sometimes because God used to be the center of my life, and i've kind of had to rebuild myself from scratch and I get really bad existential anxiety and depression.