97 replies to this topic

[Pyro699]

-.- Argue, like i said about that feeling... it was surreal... watching the sun rise over the ocean signaling a new day... yeah the sun might not have been rising just for me but because i was there to deal with my own problems and i knew it wouldnt betray me Again, a lot of every physiological stuff going on behind the scenes

I didnt care that they used me, i just wanted someone to love me argue... i went through so much pain just trying to get someone its not even funny....

[artificial]

It seems like I always sign on to an iargue fml thread. However, I'll try to respond while remaining impartial to the fact that your very presence on the internet brings a dull pain to the front of my forehead.

You seem like such a headcase in real life. Whether you have some sort of social condition or not, you have to break out of it. Stop caring and relying so much on others. My guess is you always overthink social situations, which causes you to inevitably fuck them up. No doubt it stems from your childhood and the level of anxiety you felt at school. Irregardless of the fact, how about you try to adopt some of that annoying online arrogance in to your real life personality? Be more confident in real life, be proactive, and force people to change with you, don't just blindly chase people around.

And if I get called out for going off topic, I'm really replying to all of the threads iargue makes every other day pertaining to his depressing and tormented life, where he seems to get off drawing on the pity and attention of random folk over the internet.

[iargue]

-.- Argue, like i said about that feeling... it was surreal... watching the sun rise over the ocean signaling a new day... yeah the sun might not have been rising just for me but because i was there to deal with my own problems and i knew it wouldnt betray me Again, a lot of every physiological stuff going on behind the scenes

I didnt care that they used me, i just wanted someone to love me argue... i went through so much pain just trying to get someone its not even funny....

So as a person that has gone through that, and then you found someone. Would you suggest doing what you did and letting them use you in hope, or would you suggest cutting them out of your life, or just reducing your level of friendship?

[Elle]

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Edited by Elle, 02 June 2011 - 08:25 AM.

[luvsmyncis]

I want the gossip. Someone tell me what happened today. I want to stroke my chin in a thoughtful manner as I weigh the situation in my impartial mind. Someone PM it to me. I have to go to work.

Yeah, thats exactly what they did argue... they waited until i made them happy and then left me for someone else...

What? But if you made them happy, they wouldn't have left you. Perhaps they waited until the thought of you made them completely sick before they left you for someone else. In time, I'm sure they got sick of that other person as well. Not trying to imply that you are intolerable (though, like most members of codex, you are kinda of an asshole, no offense) I just can't picture a person saying, "Wow, this shockingly pretty guy makes me really happy. Time for someone new."

[Pyro699]

Just make them friends... kayla found me right when i gave up argue... being hurt all of those times did not help me one bit

[Skyscrape]

We've already had a bit of a talk about how I deal with things XD Honestly, I bottle it up, keep secrets, cry/scream/rage when I'm alone, and people can't hear/see me. This is because I don't want to burden my troubles on other people, and when I do, I do it in a glib manner, making it out to bother me less than it actually does. I also HAVE to have alone time every single day, just to think over things, and get my head in the right place to keep on acting. But when things explode, and I can't bottle anymore, I get very destructive physically towards myself, and I can be to the people around me. And yet, anyone else's problems, I'll quite willingly take on as my own.

It really sort of hit me today, just how convincing my glibness seems to be. I was letting a teacher of mine know that I'm currently being tested for eye cancer, and he replied with a "I never would've guessed! And you've got the right attitude too, always smiling and laughing". I'm getting sick of smiling in this situation

[holaCarlos]

Self-destructive? Probably.
My life needs structure and form. I think I react so strongly to things I throw myself on the other end of the spectrum and into chaos and just plain craziness.
I need a doctor.

[Pyro699]

What? But if you made them happy, they wouldn't have left you. Perhaps they waited until the thought of you made them completely sick before they left you for someone else. In time, I'm sure they got sick of that other person as well. Not trying to imply that you are intolerable (though, like most members of codex, you are kinda of an asshole, no offense) I just can't picture a person saying, "Wow, this shockingly pretty guy makes me really happy. Time for someone new."

How nice of you punk

No, i was a different person then. I would do anything for them, some of them i would walk to their house (a 4 hour walk) just to spend 10 minutes with them to only turn around and walk back home. I get that i can be an asshole online; but how i act online is much different than how i act irl. You of all people should know that (i assume your not such a bitch irl)

[iargue]

We've already had a bit of a talk about how I deal with things XD Honestly, I bottle it up, keep secrets, cry/scream/rage when I'm alone, and people can't hear/see me. This is because I don't want to burden my troubles on other people, and when I do, I do it in a glib manner, making it out to bother me less than it actually does. I also HAVE to have alone time every single day, just to think over things, and get my head in the right place to keep on acting. But when things explode, and I can't bottle anymore, I get very destructive physically towards myself, and I can be to the people around me. And yet, anyone else's problems, I'll quite willingly take on as my own.

It really sort of hit me today, just how convincing my glibness seems to be. I was letting a teacher of mine know that I'm currently being tested for eye cancer, and he replied with a "I never would've guessed! And you've got the right attitude too, always smiling and laughing". I'm getting sick of smiling in this situation

I know the feeling. Just pretending to be happy and that everything is okay. You feel completely fake, and you also sit there and realize that everyone you consider a friend can't even notice when you are just pretending.

I really hope you don't have cancer though. That would be way to much

[Tetiel]

I want the gossip. Someone tell me what happened today. I want to stroke my chin in a thoughtful manner as I weigh the situation in my impartial mind. Someone PM it to me. I have to go to work.

ilu.

That is the very thing I have always enjoyed the most about codex.

[luvsmyncis]

(i assume your not such a bitch irl)

That's sweet of you.

[Skyscrape]

I know the feeling. Just pretending to be happy and that everything is okay. You feel completely fake, and you also sit there and realize that everyone you consider a friend can't even notice when you are just pretending.

I really hope you don't have cancer though. That would be way to much

Yeah, it isn't the best way to deal with things. This is how I had it explained to me, what I do. I had pretty much like, a personal bubble of 'well-mind' where I was actually happy and all that. And outside, would be everything that could create anxiety or anger. If one of those was strong enough, it would break through the bubble, and start messing with you. If you managed to get it out, one of two things happened, either the replacement wall was too thin, and the situation would just recur, or the replacement wall could be too thick, blocking emotional response to anything to do with what was causing the feeling(The person, school etc.) If you didn't manage to get it out, then one of those thick replacement walls would go in the hole made by the anxiety/anger, and trap it in, while dulling your empathy towards the subject.

I hope so too, I won't find out until next week

[Boggart]

I agree with punk, wtf happened? Some of us have lives you know. Not me, but others do

Anyway, for myself when the going gets tough the first thing I usually do run away and/or think of how to move on when it fails. Not if it fails, but when. Honestly, my life has been pretty cushy thus far and when things go wrong, I'm usually pretty devastated. Whether it's doing poorly in a class or losing a friend or a relationship, I usually end up in pieces for a bit. After a bit I pick up the pieces and just move on because I always have something to keep me busy; work, other friends, my family is a big part of that too.

Again I reiterate that argue you need a small close circle instead of your huge one with temporary and more importantly fragile relationships.

Then again I don't know wtf's going on so this could be about being raped by Noit for all I know.

Edited by Boggart, 02 June 2011 - 08:05 AM.

[iargue]

I agree with punk, wtf happened? Some of us have lives you know. Not me, but others do

Anyway, for myself when the going gets tough the first thing I usually do run away and/or think of how to move on when it fails. Not if it fails, but when. Honestly, my life has been pretty cushy thus far and when things go wrong, I'm usually pretty devastated. Whether it's doing poorly in a class or losing a friend or a relationship, I usually end up in pieces for a bit. After a bit I pick up the pieces and just move on because I always have something to keep me busy; work, other friends, my family is a big part of that too.

Again I reiterate that argue you need a small close circle instead of your huge one with temporary and more importantly fragile relationships.

Then again I don't know wtf's going on so this could be about being raped by Noit for all I know.

I never wanted this topic to be about me at all, or about what happened. That will just makes things twenty thousand times worse, and I would rather that not happen. I just wanted people's input to see how weird or similar I am to them, and how it works for them.

If she want to tell you her side of the story, she can. I'm just waiting for her to be ready to talk to me.

[Boggart]

I never wanted this topic to be about me at all, or about what happened. That will just makes things twenty thousand times worse, and I would rather that not happen. I just wanted people's input to see how weird or similar I am to them, and how it works for them.

If she want to tell you her side of the story, she can. I'm just waiting for her to be ready to talk to me.

Do we know this person? o.o How exactly will she contact us to share her sie of the story? xD

Well best of luck. It's hard cycle to break being self-destructive. I'm still on it with my two-day mini-depressions when things go wrong and I retreat from life. But that's usually when it's already over... luckily when I'm very mad at someone and want to end our friendship I tend to refrain. Although I do stockpile extremely mean and personal things to yell at them if neccessary.

Always on the guard... :3

[Elle]

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Edited by Elle, 02 June 2011 - 08:25 AM.

[iargue]

Do we know this person? o.o How exactly will she contact us to share her sie of the story? xD

Well best of luck. It's hard cycle to break being self-destructive. I'm still on it with my two-day mini-depressions when things go wrong and I retreat from life. But that's usually when it's already over... luckily when I'm very mad at someone and want to end our friendship I tend to refrain. Although I do stockpile extremely mean and personal things to yell at them if neccessary.

Always on the guard... :3

I also can think of a hundred mean things to say to someone when I am mad at them. Its a terrible terrible character flaw because as someone nice, if I am mean, its a hundred times worse

[Boggart]

*acts dumb I dunno who it is*

Well it's a defense mechanism for me; as nice of a person I generally am, I'm not oblivious to things. When I get to know someone well enough, I learn what they hate/hurts them the most, and those are the things I avoid when we're friends. However that being said, I can use those very things to hurt them. I've never really done this where I just said all the things they've never heard since I've never had a horrible friendship/relationship ending, yet I still think of all these things to say if it happened. I don't want to look weak and I want the other to feel pain. Because I'm an asshole I can't help myself in all honesty; but this only happens if you make me extremely angry/hurt. Doesn't happen very often, except with my sister xD

[iargue]

*acts dumb I dunno who it is*

Well it's a defense mechanism for me; as nice of a person I generally am, I'm not oblivious to things. When I get to know someone well enough, I learn what they hate/hurts them the most, and those are the things I avoid when we're friends. However that being said, I can use those very things to hurt them. I've never really done this where I just said all the things they've never heard since I've never had a horrible friendship/relationship ending, yet I still think of all these things to say if it happened. I don't want to look weak and I want the other to feel pain. Because I'm an asshole I can't help myself in all honesty; but this only happens if you make me extremely angry/hurt. Doesn't happen very often, except with my sister xD

I can relate to that. Whenever people use me, or hurt me. Thats whenever I actually stop caring and I can say very very mean things to you. If I say mean and hateful things to you and hurt deep, you know that you have hurt me way to deep and thing will not be okay at that point.

But I also forgive extremely easy and will forgive anyone as long as they talk to me about it. Thats another flaw as it means they can do whatever they want to me and not lose me.

[Boggart]

I can relate to that. Whenever people use me, or hurt me. Thats whenever I actually stop caring and I can say very very mean things to you. If I say mean and hateful things to you and hurt deep, you know that you have hurt me way to deep and thing will not be okay at that point.

But I also forgive extremely easy and will forgive anyone as long as they talk to me about it. Thats another flaw as it means they can do whatever they want to me and not lose me.

Well I don't exactly WANT to hurt people; hence why I've never actually done it. But if things turn that bad, I generally will distance myself from them regardless of what they say and generally I won't forgive them. Not like a grudge where I give them the cold shoulder (what's the entymology of that expression? o.o) but it'll be very difficult for me to see them in the same light. I honestly don't care about losing those types of people. If they're not a good friend, then screw it. I have more than enough people in my life; I don't need people who aren't good friends.

[Georgina]

Argueeeeee why do you get yourself in this mess x3

Im more the type to be laid back about 99% of things. Take things as they come! Be nice as much as you can, and people tend to be nice to you. I do get walked over sometimes, but hell, who's the better person? I dont think i have ever hated anyone, I rarley have arguments, and when in relationships things never get to crazy, just end because we aren't compatible or something. Life is too short to over think stuff imo

[Tetiel]

I can relate to that. Whenever people use me, or hurt me. Thats whenever I actually stop caring and I can say very very mean things to you. If I say mean and hateful things to you and hurt deep, you know that you have hurt me way to deep and thing will not be okay at that point.

But I also forgive extremely easy and will forgive anyone as long as they talk to me about it. Thats another flaw as it means they can do whatever they want to me and not lose me.

Forgiveness is not a flaw, but trusting them afterwards to not do it again is. Don't try to stop forgiving people.

[iargue]

Argueeeeee why do you get yourself in this mess x3

Im more the type to be laid back about 99% of things. Take things as they come! Be nice as much as you can, and people tend to be nice to you. I do get walked over sometimes, but hell, who's the better person? I dont think i have ever hated anyone, I rarley have arguments, and when in relationships things never get to crazy, just end because we aren't compatible or something. Life is too short to over think stuff imo

I get myself into this mess, because I am who I am. Every relationship or friendship starts out the same. They think I am utterly amazing. Then it rapidly changes in a completely different direction and I don't know how to deal with it.

and its easy for you to say that now, but are you honestly like that while these things are happening?

[Georgina]

I get myself into this mess, because I am who I am. Every relationship or friendship starts out the same. They think I am utterly amazing. Then it rapidly changes in a completely different direction and I don't know how to deal with it.

and its easy for you to say that now, but are you honestly like that while these things are happening?

Yeah most of the time i am. I mean I have my moments, I do keep things on my mind for a while but i hide it, and it usually doesn't effect me.

Relationships will allways change, you cant be amazing to your partner 24/7, you fall out, you make up, you look hot, you look not so hot. Its normal.