97 replies to this topic

[Frizzle]

Blah blah blah emo bullshit.

[iargue]

Blah blah blah emo bullshit.

Thank you for your amazing contribution. Why is this topic always about me? I want it to be about the people answer the question.

[Ali]

Not in the slightest.

Used to be, incredibly so.

[iargue]

Not in the slightest.

Used to be, incredibly so.

What made you change?

And how did things turn out when you where self destructive?

You don't have to share if you don't want to, but more insight would be great.

[Ali]

What made you change?

And how did things turn out when you where self destructive?

You don't have to share if you don't want to, but more insight would be great.

Meh, I think most of it has been said in the past anyway. My dad was very ill for a long while and eventually died when I was 16. I didn't react very well, went a bit of the rails for a couple of years, drank huge amounts, messed about with drugs, skipped a lot of sixth form, moved out of home temporarily, had a series of disastrous relationships with perfectly nice guys, pushed a lot of friends away...decided I wanted to be completely alone, people couldn't be relied on, resented everyone. Not a people person at the best of times, so when I want to be I'm really awful. I would start raging arguments with anyone and everyone I knew over nothing or meaningless comments. I'd force people to leave me because in my mind, it was only a matter of time before that would happen anyway.

I don't know what changed really...I grew up a bit, accepted myself a bit more, accepted that things couldn't always be in my control, met a guy who was determined to put up with my messed up little brain, threw myself into running and violin and things for me. Moved to London with the Boy and stopped contact with anyone who I knew wasn't good for me, my mother included. Thought more about everything I did but not to the point of over-analysis, just nothing rash that I'd later regret. And very slowly but surely, I got better. I learnt that needing support from time to time was fine, that being sad or angry or lonely is all just an emotion and it's nearly always temporary and in that respect no different from happiness, that people may leave but that's all the more reason to enjoy any good times with them and that most of my beliefs about these things had been the stupid thoughts of a teenage girl. *Shrugs* Boy was probably the turning point, the fact that he didn't care that I was a complete nightmare made me want to be better and so I began to try and made a conscious effort to change and I was just lucky that he was willing to support me through it and put up with the screaming arguments and nights of crying for no apparent reason etcetc.

It was definitely recognising that I was unhappy and that I was bringing it on myself and I was the only person who could do anything to change it...

[Jake]

Thank you for your amazing contribution. Why is this topic always about me? I want it to be about the people answer the question.

To be fair argue you might not think it is about yourself or you didn't plan it on being about you but when you make these threads whenever something happens in your life (you have made a few) it kind of becomes obvious. I honestly want to know what happened here but I doubt anyone will tell me so I will just fuck off. My advice I would like to say is the closest to Georgina's. Just need to relax sometimes and not take everything personally, don't try to calculate every social situation that can occur and just deal with shit as it happens. Completely cliche but there's other fish in the sea. If things ever get so terrible that you can't stand your life because of these people... move away, find new people in a new city and restart your life.

[Frizzle]

Thank you for your amazing contribution.

Fine. Here's my contribution.

Stop being a whiney little fanny with absolutely no backbone what so ever. You want to mope around and act like a little bitch, you'll get treated like one.

Honestly you embarass every non-emo man out there. Grow a pair.

[Brennon]

I always try to push people away, even when things are going good.

I love you punk <3

Me? I am incapable of letting people in. It's not that I don't want to its just I have the hardest time articulating my feeling/emotions. I don't know it that's self destructive but it sure isn't constructive.

[Jake]

I love you punk <3

Me? I am incapable of letting people in. It's not that I don't want to its just I have the hardest time articulating my feeling/emotions. I don't know it that's self destructive but it sure isn't constructive.

I call bullshit on this one. You let me inside every night

[ShadowLink64]

And Shadow does things like that, he freaks out a lot over things, as his way of coping.

To further define "freak out", I tend to obsess over things that could go wrong. I should mention that it's not healthy to do that and it's something I am trying to change. Sometimes I forget that I am an awesome person that doesn't need any bullshit in their lives. (Not trying to be cocky, just demonstrating the attitude you need to adopt to get through these things. My inexperience caused me to overreact in places where I now see was a terrible thing to do for myself.)

However, if I was actively in an argument with someone, I would do what Tetiel mentioned. First, try the "warm" approach and try to find some common ground, and if I see that it's going nowhere, revert to just cold hard logic. If I'm irritated, sometimes I just skip the first step, which is sometimes bad.

One thing I don't like are people taking advantage of me -- if I realize that they're looking for more than help or fun or whatever and they're just using me, I will push them away. I've got my own life that I think is worth a fair bit, and so those people just tend to piss me off. It's difficult to realize it right away though.

I find that confidence derives from successes in your life. I'm sure you can point to some successes -- you have a job, you are a great programmer (which is a somewhat unique skill to have, since most people don't know how to program), and you care about improving situations. That's a great start to build up a persona that is strong and not a "push-over" per se (if a person wants something from you, step back and also consider how it will affect you -- mutuality and reciprocity are important things in relationships, whether they be friendships or romantic ones). Always look for people who you can learn from as well.

[WharfRat]

Yeah... I used to have a real bad case of self destructive behavior. Any little thing would piss me off and give me a reason to go on a drinking binge. I was averaging around 1,000 USD per month on liquor towards the end of my habit. I realized that by self destructing, I'm not doing myself, the world, or anyone else in the world any favors.

Things don't always go right... but even if you are helpful to just one person, you can still be of use. (Provided you aren't harmful to more than one. ) Just take life's beatings as they come and stay relaxed and things will start seeming like less and less of a big deal.

[iargue]

Meh, I think most of it has been said in the past anyway. My dad was very ill for a long while and eventually died when I was 16. I didn't react very well, went a bit of the rails for a couple of years, drank huge amounts, messed about with drugs, skipped a lot of sixth form, moved out of home temporarily, had a series of disastrous relationships with perfectly nice guys, pushed a lot of friends away...decided I wanted to be completely alone, people couldn't be relied on, resented everyone. Not a people person at the best of times, so when I want to be I'm really awful. I would start raging arguments with anyone and everyone I knew over nothing or meaningless comments. I'd force people to leave me because in my mind, it was only a matter of time before that would happen anyway.

I don't know what changed really...I grew up a bit, accepted myself a bit more, accepted that things couldn't always be in my control, met a guy who was determined to put up with my messed up little brain, threw myself into running and violin and things for me. Moved to London with the Boy and stopped contact with anyone who I knew wasn't good for me, my mother included. Thought more about everything I did but not to the point of over-analysis, just nothing rash that I'd later regret. And very slowly but surely, I got better. I learnt that needing support from time to time was fine, that being sad or angry or lonely is all just an emotion and it's nearly always temporary and in that respect no different from happiness, that people may leave but that's all the more reason to enjoy any good times with them and that most of my beliefs about these things had been the stupid thoughts of a teenage girl. *Shrugs* Boy was probably the turning point, the fact that he didn't care that I was a complete nightmare made me want to be better and so I began to try and made a conscious effort to change and I was just lucky that he was willing to support me through it and put up with the screaming arguments and nights of crying for no apparent reason etcetc.

It was definitely recognising that I was unhappy and that I was bringing it on myself and I was the only person who could do anything to change it...

So if your husband/fiance/boy where to grow very distant with you, and you knew that he wanted a divorce/break up. How would you handle that situation now compared to the past.

How do you handle the anxiety about your next performance, and how would you have handled it in the past?

To be fair argue you might not think it is about yourself or you didn't plan it on being about you but when you make these threads whenever something happens in your life (you have made a few) it kind of becomes obvious. I honestly want to know what happened here but I doubt anyone will tell me so I will just fuck off. My advice I would like to say is the closest to Georgina's. Just need to relax sometimes and not take everything personally, don't try to calculate every social situation that can occur and just deal with shit as it happens. Completely cliche but there's other fish in the sea. If things ever get so terrible that you can't stand your life because of these people... move away, find new people in a new city and restart your life.

Maybe nothing happened. Maybe I am just an giant idiot. Who really knows. Its way to early to say anything, but I did everything that I knew I shouldn't have done as an reaction, and I realized what I was doing, and stopped doing it. Then I wanted to know how many other people are like that.

Fine. Here's my contribution.

Stop being a whiney little fanny with absolutely no backbone what so ever. You want to mope around and act like a little bitch, you'll get treated like one.

Honestly you embarass every non-emo man out there. Grow a pair.

I don't want to be associated with anything to do with your definition of a man. That's exactly what I always try so hard to be kind to people, and make them realize that I am someone different. Because the alternative is being some asshole who cheats on women and uses them for his own personal gain. And that sickens me. So your right, I am an embarrassment to being a man, and I don't want to be associated with you. At all.

To further define "freak out", I tend to obsess over things that could go wrong. I should mention that it's not healthy to do that and it's something I am trying to change. Sometimes I forget that I am an awesome person that doesn't need any bullshit in their lives. (Not trying to be cocky, just demonstrating the attitude you need to adopt to get through these things. My inexperience caused me to overreact in places where I now see was a terrible thing to do for myself.)

However, if I was actively in an argument with someone, I would do what Tetiel mentioned. First, try the "warm" approach and try to find some common ground, and if I see that it's going nowhere, revert to just cold hard logic. If I'm irritated, sometimes I just skip the first step, which is sometimes bad.

One thing I don't like are people taking advantage of me -- if I realize that they're looking for more than help or fun or whatever and they're just using me, I will push them away. I've got my own life that I think is worth a fair bit, and so those people just tend to piss me off. It's difficult to realize it right away though.

I find that confidence derives from successes in your life. I'm sure you can point to some successes -- you have a job, you are a great programmer (which is a somewhat unique skill to have, since most people don't know how to program), and you care about improving situations. That's a great start to build up a persona that is strong and not a "push-over" per se (if a person wants something from you, step back and also consider how it will affect you -- mutuality and reciprocity are important things in relationships, whether they be friendships or romantic ones). Always look for people who you can learn from as well.

I dont care about fame, or fortune, or anything at all in life. I just want to find someone who will love me for who I am. Nothing else concerns me in the slightest

And most of the time I do feel very very very confident. Because they tell me over and over that I am amazing and wonderful, but I am nothing wonderful or amazing whenever they suddenly stop everything and don't want to be with me anymore.

Yeah... I used to have a real bad case of self destructive behavior. Any little thing would piss me off and give me a reason to go on a drinking binge. I was averaging around 1,000 USD per month on liquor towards the end of my habit. I realized that by self destructing, I'm not doing myself, the world, or anyone else in the world any favors.

Things don't always go right... but even if you are helpful to just one person, you can still be of use. (Provided you aren't harmful to more than one. ) Just take life's beatings as they come and stay relaxed and things will start seeming like less and less of a big deal.

You told me about your self destructive thing. I don't abuse any substances. I just destroy everything that I have

You destroy all that is sacred
With the words that you say
Your burning tool, your deadly brush
You paint with every day

As it is so perfectly said.

But how do you deal with a situation now?

[WharfRat]

You told me about your self destructive thing. I don't abuse any substances. I just destroy everything that I have

:facepalm: Do you not realize that substances or not, the point was relating to self destruction? (See: title of thread)

I see topics of you complaining about how life isn't how you want it, or how destructive you can be, or you're just so unhappy for whatever reason it is... and every time I put aside my personal feelings about you and give you honest, direct, and compassionate advice. Every time, you dismiss me completely and I swear to myself that I won't let you con me into trying to help you again.

*Facepalm* Here I am again.

Because you're clearly too fucking dense (or too ignorant to listen... I'm starting to believe the latter.), I'm just going to be more blunt with you and maybe the message will get through.

Life will NEVER work out exactly how you want it to. Life doesn't give a shit about your emotions or your desires. Idealism and fantasy are fine and dandy to have, but you are clinging to your idealized version of the way the world works. Then, when things don't work out the way you want, you throw a fit/cry a lot about it like a child when he doesn't get his way. You begin to reject everyone's help as you clearly know what's best for you. (P.s. why the fuck bother to ever ask for advice if you are too stubborn/stupid to take any of it?) You become so loud and obnoxious about not getting your way that you begin to hurt yourself and push other people away from you. Then you cry because everyone you get close to leaves you.

Don't you see that it's a cycle? Your obnoxious clinging to your black and white view of the world is exactly what is imprisoning you in the first place! Let go! There is more than one right answer to most things in life. (Especially that of a social nature.) Stop rejecting people or ideas that don't fit into your mold of acceptable and just focus on being happy. Until you can get over your grandiose ego and hyper-attachment to idealism, you will never be happy. People will continue to get close to you and realize what a fucking Debbie Downer you can be and leave, one after another, as they realize that you are beyond the help of anyone but yourself.

Learn to work on yourself and make yourself happy. If you can't even make yourself happy, you're never going to make anyone else happy either.

There. There's some honest and straight to the point, no bullshit, advice. If you don't want to hear it from me, I'd suggest you see a shrink. (I use the term shrink instead of psychiatrist in this case because they will literally need to shrink your fucking ego if they ever hope to get anything done.) I truly wish you the best... but if history is ever to be an example, you'll rebut with some stupid lines about how what I said doesn't apply to your life and how things are really different. You'll tell yourself that I (and everyone else) clearly just don't understand. You'll continue to do the same stupid shit you've been doing and continue getting the same shitty results. We'll hear back in a week or two with another topic full of people genuinely trying to help the idiot who asks for advice but isn't willing to actually take any of it... and you'll continue to live on, as clueless and miserable as ever.

Perhaps you'll prove history wrong this time... but I wouldn't bet on it.

Truly wishing you the best,
Cody

[Brennon]

I call bullshit on this one. You let me inside every night

I meant emotionally not physically.

[Ali]

So if your husband/fiance/boy where to grow very distant with you, and you knew that he wanted a divorce/break up. How would you handle that situation now compared to the past.

How do you handle the anxiety about your next performance, and how would you have handled it in the past?

No idea. I'd like to think a lot better than I used to. The difference is now, I don't plan for that scenario and bring it on sooner because I don't expect it to happen. Before I always presumed that anyone involved in my life would eventually leave. With him, I presume we're in it to the end, if I didn't, I wouldn't have married him. I would start blazing rows over the tiniest of things and force them to escalate more and more and would make an eventual break up happen. What did it matter? They'd only go sooner or later. Now I'm a lot more stable, we still have the occasional stupid fight but that's it, a single incident, we leave it, we carry on. I stopped making every little thing mean everything. Neither of us are perfect and it was stupid of me to think that imperfections meant something couldn't last. *Shrugs* I think I just developed a much more rational outlook on a lot of things, I find it very difficult looking back to explain my actions or thoughts then because I'm not that girl any more. I think she was just as crazy as everyone else thought me then.

Never had any anxiety about it, violin is the only area of my life where confidence has never wavered. If I do start to get down or worried or I feel like I'm regressing a bit, I throw myself into it all the more. I know I'm damn good at it and it's like a safety blanket. An outlet. All the emotions that would have once led up to some very stupid things now get diverted into that.

If you can't even make yourself happy, you're never going to make anyone else happy either.

It's one of the biggest cliches out there but it is very true.

[Gen]

I was in the middle of typing a giant block of text earlier today, but I had to leave to watch a movie with my friends. In the meanwhile, I started to think about how I reacted when everything went wrong. At first, I didn't know very well. It seems that I used to rage a lot, making everything go wrong in a terrible way, but most of the times, I just get sad. I become depressed, even when people think I'm happy, because I never let people know when I'm actually sad. I'm too proud to ask for other people help, which creates a giant whirlwind of emotions inside of me, I start criticizing(did I write it right o.O?) myself, I cry when people cant see me, I blame myself for everything, its rare that I put the mistakes on another person's shoulder. So, whenever I see something is clearly going unexpected, in a bad way, I close myself to the world, and start to think a lot about where did I go wrong, what should I have done. And that completely ruins me and has been ruining my life.

This is how my life had been going, until a few days ago. I had a terrible time with a girl, 5 years ago. She was my best friend, the one I most trusted, I loved her. At first we were just friends, but after I finally met her (we had spoken only through the internet) at my cousin's birthday, I fell in love with her. I tried to meet her sometimes, but we couldn't make it, because there was always something "more important" when we wanted to meet. So, a couple days after my birthday, after a lot of time trying to go out with her, I told her I wanted to go somewhere to celebrate with her. Then, she said, over the internet (we lived kinda far from each other, it was really hard for us to meet), that she never felt anything for me, even thought she showed it in every way, even through emoticoms(lol). I raged at first, I was angry at her, I didn't want to talk or see her again, I felt betrayed by my best friend. Then I just got depressed, and every time I wanted to be with another girl, and have something serious with her, I'd think "What if it happens again?" and it always happened. Now, if you read this until now (you're brave), you must be wondering: "Ok, why the hell did he tell me all this stuff, this is kinda off-topic and boring, I don't want to know about this random guy's problems...". So, a friend of mine just came back with his ex-girlfriend, after around 3 years, and we sorta became friends, so she called me to her birthday party. I immediately said yes, she's cool and most of my friends are going too. Then, I just found out that my friend's ex-girlfriend(now his girlfriend) also knows the girl I hated for so long. And that this girl, who was my best friend, is going to be there this saturday.
At first I was like "Fuck. I want to go, but at the same time I don't want to see her again, I don't want to feel sad". Only to notice that I was already sad. Thinking about her makes me feel miserable. And then, thinking about how random life is, and how much I've grown up, I thought: "Maybe, this is just life giving me a second chance, I should take this chance and see if things finally start to work as I wanted".
I just got tired of being sad after things didn't work as I wanted, or get angry at myself. Everyone knows how random life is, and how we just cant plan it. So the best thing to do is just do our best, and hope that the others will do theirs as well. If they don't, its life, sometimes you are on a great moment, the others you feel like you're on a deep hole. But you're never alone, even when you feel so. It would be a lie if I said I'm never going to be sad again, of course I am, but if I just keep being sad for so long, I'm going to destroy myself even more.

TL;DR: Sorry, no help for you.

[iargue]

:facepalm: Do you not realize that substances or not, the point was relating to self destruction? (See: title of thread)

I see topics of you complaining about how life isn't how you want it, or how destructive you can be, or you're just so unhappy for whatever reason it is... and every time I put aside my personal feelings about you and give you honest, direct, and compassionate advice. Every time, you dismiss me completely and I swear to myself that I won't let you con me into trying to help you again.

*Facepalm* Here I am again.

Truly wishing you the best,
Cody

I do have a really stupid view of the world, and I am so relucatant to let it go because I don't want to give up hope. I think I will have to very soon.

And I don't try to ignore peoples advice. I really honestly listen to everything that people tell me. But they tell me to act completely different, and I really have troubles doing that.

But I honestly don't need help this time. I've realized what I am doing wrong, and trying hard to not do anything else wrong. So I'm trying to figure out how other people are and see if I can use what they do.

No idea. I'd like to think a lot better than I used to. The difference is now, I don't plan for that scenario and bring it on sooner because I don't expect it to happen. Before I always presumed that anyone involved in my life would eventually leave. With him, I presume we're in it to the end, if I didn't, I wouldn't have married him. I would start blazing rows over the tiniest of things and force them to escalate more and more and would make an eventual break up happen. What did it matter? They'd only go sooner or later. Now I'm a lot more stable, we still have the occasional stupid fight but that's it, a single incident, we leave it, we carry on. I stopped making every little thing mean everything. Neither of us are perfect and it was stupid of me to think that imperfections meant something couldn't last. *Shrugs* I think I just developed a much more rational outlook on a lot of things, I find it very difficult looking back to explain my actions or thoughts then because I'm not that girl any more. I think she was just as crazy as everyone else thought me then.

Never had any anxiety about it, violin is the only area of my life where confidence has never wavered. If I do start to get down or worried or I feel like I'm regressing a bit, I throw myself into it all the more. I know I'm damn good at it and it's like a safety blanket. An outlet. All the emotions that would have once led up to some very stupid things now get diverted into that.


It's one of the biggest cliches out there but it is very true.

Well, at least you have something that you never lose faith in. That is always very important. Thank you for sharing with me

[jonahfinn]

I usually just sit back and let things work out by themselves,
only interfere if absolutely necessary
but if I'm totally obsessed about this thing then I'd try fix it, and usually make it worse.

I suppose I do push away friends, but I just vaguely talk about my problems to randoms to make myself feel better.
I don't put effort into maintaining relationships with friends, I mainly socialise with co-workers and my family =p

[iargue]

I was in the middle of typing a giant block of text earlier today, but I had to leave to watch a movie with my friends. In the meanwhile, I started to think about how I reacted when everything went wrong. At first, I didn't know very well. It seems that I used to rage a lot, making everything go wrong in a terrible way, but most of the times, I just get sad. I become depressed, even when people think I'm happy, because I never let people know when I'm actually sad. I'm too proud to ask for other people help, which creates a giant whirlwind of emotions inside of me, I start criticizing(did I write it right o.O?) myself, I cry when people cant see me, I blame myself for everything, its rare that I put the mistakes on another person's shoulder. So, whenever I see something is clearly going unexpected, in a bad way, I close myself to the world, and start to think a lot about where did I go wrong, what should I have done. And that completely ruins me and has been ruining my life.

This is how my life had been going, until a few days ago. I had a terrible time with a girl, 5 years ago. She was my best friend, the one I most trusted, I loved her. At first we were just friends, but after I finally met her (we had spoken only through the internet) at my cousin's birthday, I fell in love with her. I tried to meet her sometimes, but we couldn't make it, because there was always something "more important" when we wanted to meet. So, a couple days after my birthday, after a lot of time trying to go out with her, I told her I wanted to go somewhere to celebrate with her. Then, she said, over the internet (we lived kinda far from each other, it was really hard for us to meet), that she never felt anything for me, even thought she showed it in every way, even through emoticoms(lol). I raged at first, I was angry at her, I didn't want to talk or see her again, I felt betrayed by my best friend. Then I just got depressed, and every time I wanted to be with another girl, and have something serious with her, I'd think "What if it happens again?" and it always happened. Now, if you read this until now (you're brave), you must be wondering: "Ok, why the hell did he tell me all this stuff, this is kinda off-topic and boring, I don't want to know about this random guy's problems...". So, a friend of mine just came back with his ex-girlfriend, after around 3 years, and we sorta became friends, so she called me to her birthday party. I immediately said yes, she's cool and most of my friends are going too. Then, I just found out that my friend's ex-girlfriend(now his girlfriend) also knows the girl I hated for so long. And that this girl, who was my best friend, is going to be there this saturday.
At first I was like "Fuck. I want to go, but at the same time I don't want to see her again, I don't want to feel sad". Only to notice that I was already sad. Thinking about her makes me feel miserable. And then, thinking about how random life is, and how much I've grown up, I thought: "Maybe, this is just life giving me a second chance, I should take this chance and see if things finally start to work as I wanted".
I just got tired of being sad after things didn't work as I wanted, or get angry at myself. Everyone knows how random life is, and how we just cant plan it. So the best thing to do is just do our best, and hope that the others will do theirs as well. If they don't, its life, sometimes you are on a great moment, the others you feel like you're on a deep hole. But you're never alone, even when you feel so. It would be a lie if I said I'm never going to be sad again, of course I am, but if I just keep being sad for so long, I'm going to destroy myself even more.

TL;DR: Sorry, no help for you.

Thanks for sharing with me

And you helped exactly what I was asking from my first post. To talk about you and how you handle things.

As far as all of this goes. Do you push her away first out of fear of it happening, or do you freak out over little things and cause the same thing to happen?

I usually just sit back and let things work out by themselves,
only interfere if absolutely necessary
but if I'm totally obsessed about this thing then I'd try fix it, and usually make it worse.

I suppose I do push away friends, but I just vaguely talk about my problems to randoms to make myself feel better.
I don't put effort into maintaining relationships with friends, I mainly socialise with co-workers and my family =p

I totally meant to respond to your pm

I wonder if there is a reason why you are so apathetic. I'll ask in pm in case you want to share and its private

[Gen]

Thanks for sharing with me

And you helped exactly what I was asking from my first post. To talk about you and how you handle things.

As far as all of this goes. Do you push her away first out of fear of it happening, or do you freak out over little things and cause the same thing to happen?

I didn't actually think you were going to read the whole thing xD
I don't know, its like a feeling that its going to happen again, but I probably end up causing it. I get to know a girl, I fall in love with her around june-july, around august something terrible happens and I just go back to my misery. Last year the girl was into me and I was into her, but I'm really slow on making the moves, and to make it worse her best friend told her I was an asshole (I still don't know why, me and her best friend were friends too...). At other times I just quit after thinking it will be impossible. I guess I just don't believe in me enough.
Whatever your problem is, Argue, I'm sure someday you'll look at it and think "It wasnt thaaaat bad...".

[iargue]

I didn't actually think you were going to read the whole thing xD
I don't know, its like a feeling that its going to happen again, but I probably end up causing it. I get to know a girl, I fall in love with her around june-july, around august something terrible happens and I just go back to my misery. Last year the girl was into me and I was into her, but I'm really slow on making the moves, and to make it worse her best friend told her I was an asshole (I still don't know why, me and her best friend were friends too...). At other times I just quit after thinking it will be impossible. I guess I just don't believe in me enough.
Whatever your problem is, Argue, I'm sure someday you'll look at it and think "It wasnt thaaaat bad...".

I have flaws, like everyone has I would like to fix them though, and hopefully one day they will be gone.

And you should believe in yourself more. If I girl can stay with a guy who beats her, someone will stay with you. I always believe in that every single time, and give up that I am worth it

[Jake]

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I think the real tl;dr here is that you should never dedicate all of your emotions too someone over the internet, even if you 'knew' them for several years.

I hate how shit goes down in today's society, all of this internet dating and bullshit. I can get if you want to go on those sites looking for an easy fuck but honestly, for relationships? You write down your hobbies and all this fucked up shit. What if I can't express my hobbies, interests and what I do every friday night? I'm not accusing you of using these sites but the concept is almost the same if you eventually want to meet up with them and start feeling emotions for these people. It's depressing hearing all of your shit stories and I really do truly hope all the best for you. Your's is at least a story that shows what you have expressed and gotten in return.

How the hell do you possibly plan to solve your problems by talking to 3rd party recipients on websites while you don't even share the whole story? Talk to real people, real 3rd party people who can give you advice with showing facial expressions, getting the point over of what they truly feel.

I'd love to share with you all of some depressing ass story that makes you not even want to come here but sadly I have no specific detail. I've had random chicks dump me and the rest of this bullshit we call life, but honestly, I've learned years ago that a 'fuck it' kind of mood to society as a whole gives you great complexion and nice abs.

[Gen]

I think the real tl;dr here is that you should never dedicate all of your emotions too someone over the internet, even if you 'knew' them for several years.

I hate how shit goes down in today's society, all of this internet dating and bullshit. I can get if you want to go on those sites looking for an easy fuck but honestly, for relationships? You write down your hobbies and all this fucked up shit. What if I can't express my hobbies, interests and what I do every friday night? I'm not accusing you of using these sites but the concept is almost the same if you eventually want to meet up with them and start feeling emotions for these people. It's depressing hearing all of your shit stories and I really do truly hope all the best for you. Your's is at least a story that shows what you have expressed and gotten in return.

How the hell do you possibly plan to solve your problems by talking to 3rd party recipients on websites while you don't even share the whole story? Talk to real people, real 3rd party people who can give you advice with showing facial expressions, getting the point over of what they truly feel.

I'd love to share with you all of some depressing ass story that makes you not even want to come here but sadly I have no specific detail. I've had random chicks dump me and the rest of this bullshit we call life, but honestly, I've learned years ago that a 'fuck it' kind of mood to society as a whole gives you great complexion and nice abs.

Oh no, I kinda explained it wrong. She's one of my cousin's friends. I used to talk a lot to my cousin via msn while I lived at another town and her friend was at one of those conversations, we started to talk to each other and ended up being great friends. I met her personally like one year later, at my cousin's birthday, at the time it was really good, since we had a lot of stuff in common. I never had a relationship with someone over the internet, nor did ever try o.O

I have flaws, like everyone has I would like to fix them though, and hopefully one day they will be gone.

And you should believe in yourself more. If I girl can stay with a guy who beats her, someone will stay with you. I always believe in that every single time, and give up that I am worth it

Once I read a phrase by a famous brazilian writer, called Clarisse Lispector, she said something around : "Fixing our flaws might be dangerous. We never know which one is the one that holds our whole building."

[Adam]

I'm very self destructive and it's a terrible trait to have. When things go horribly I start to binge drink, smoke ciggaretts and weed. I've never been addicted to cigs and I've never been a pothead. I just try and do things that make my 'pain' go away for at least one night. I'm also guilty of pushing people away and when I do that everything starts to go more down hill, and in general I hate people. Just make sure to not do what I do and push people away that are only trying to help you, because when you do that things start to fall apart even more.

[luvsmyncis]

How the hell do you possibly plan to solve your problems by talking to 3rd party recipients on websites while you don't even share the whole story? Talk to real people, real 3rd party people who can give you advice with showing facial expressions, getting the point over of what they truly feel.

He's right.

Hey everyone, meet me in Tinychat in about 20 mintues and tell me all your grief. So I can laugh! I am very understanding and caring.