How I Met Your Mother -
Ted: I could end up marrying this woman; I want our first kiss to be special.
Lily: Aw, that's sweet. So you chickened out like a little bitch?
Robin: I am Canadian. Remember? We celebrate Thanksgiving in October.
Ted: Oh right I forgot. You guys are weird and you pronounce the word 'out', 'oot'.
Robin: You guys are the world's leader in hand gun violence; your health care system is bankrupt and your country is deeply divided on almost every important issue.
Ted: [pause] Your cops are called 'mounties'.
Barney: (to Robin on the possibility of her turning out a slut) Slut woulda been better but I'll settle for bro. Especially now that Ted's with Victoria and can't drink. Because he's pregnant... Because he's the girl.
Robin: Oh come on, Ted can't be pregnant... You need to have sex to get pregnant.
Barney: Freeze-frame high-five!
Barney: You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be AWESOME instead. True story.
Ted: I'm gonna call Barney.
[calls Barney]
Barney: Go for Barney.
Ted: Oh hey, where are you guys?
Barney: We're in a fundraiser, helping young women raise money for community college.
Ted: Stripclub...nice.
Maybe some buffy later.
