40 replies to this topic

[Sweeney]

...I want you to kill me.

Seriously.
Show me your creative talents, and come up with a creative perfect-murder plan.

Ask me any questions you need to perfect your plan, and when you're done, we'll see how likely it is that you were caught after doing the deed.

Bring it on, bitches

[Hydrogen]

Congratulations? This thread is utterly disturbing

[Sweeney]

Congratulations? This thread is utterly disturbing

You're not going to give it a shot?
Shame

[foogie]

I'm not feeling particularily creative at the moment, but canaries keep coming to mind.

I would say death by canaries.

[Sweeney]

I'm not feeling particularily creative at the moment, but canaries keep coming to mind.

I would say death by canaries.

You'll have to be a little more descriptive than that

Edited by Sunscorch, 10 February 2008 - 08:01 PM.

[foogie]

You'll have to be a little more descriptive than that

something with peanut butter, birdseed and a hell of a lot of pecking.

[Shadiel]

Given you were nearby:
I would lull you into a false sense of security, using my witty charm and boyish good looks.
Afterwards, I would take you to a good friend's house for some partying, (all there would be in on it, of course), and after you've been tanked beyond reason, drive you out a few miles to a remote area, near Lake Michigan where a boat would be waiting.

Upon this boat, you would be taken about quarter of the way across, cut off each of your fingers, chain you to a block of cement and drop you in the lake.
If questioned, I would use the alibi that you had drunkenly stumbled away from the party that night against my warnings, but I was far too intoxicated to follow you.

[Brad]

spot reserved with which to kill joe

[Alex]

Interesting topic (btw, you should reset your post count, so you can be cool like me xD)
Hmmm.
It's kind of hard to devise a perfect plan to kill someone when you know little about their daily routine. Post your daily routine for us

[Waser Lave]

...I want you to kill me.

Seriously.
Show me your creative talents, and come up with a creative perfect-murder plan.

Ask me any questions you need to perfect your plan, and when you're done, we'll see how likely it is that you were caught after doing the deed.

Bring it on, bitches

I'd suspend you over a bamboo shoot. Can't beat the good old fashioned methods.

[Kitchwa]

I'd snipe your ass from a mile away so that nobody could see me (well I hope not =_=)

Then drag your body to a pizzeria and put your body in an oven

The rest will be left with the cops and your family as to what they do with your charred remains

Edit: Oh and of course. Part 1 of my plan would be to buy a plane ticket to the UK, then find where you live

[pyke]

1) Buy fresh ammo.

2) Buy gloves and take extra care to not touch the outsides of them.

3) Watch your routine for a while until I knew when you'd be either most alone or in the most public active place.

4) Strike during those times, taking care to not disturb anything of the scene.

5) Reset your post count.

Grats on 10k posts xD

[ToxicS]

I would inject an apple with poison and give it to you because I wouldn't be hungry

[Sweeney]

Interesting topic (btw, you should reset your post count, so you can be cool like me xD)
Hmmm.
It's kind of hard to devise a perfect plan to kill someone when you know little about their daily routine. Post your daily routine for us

I'm at Uni, so I have a different schedule every day
For the sake of simplicity, though... let's say I get up about eight, walk into uni from nine to half past, through the local hospital.
Then, I'll be in lectures for two hours, two hours for lunch at the biology cafe, then two more lecture hours.
Then, another half hour walk home, same route, and a lazy evening in.

[Hater_Boxden]

I would first put your balls in a vice and slowly tighten the grip. For every time you cringe, one of your children gets raped and shot. After you have no balls, i would pour corrosive acid on your legs until only the bone remains. I would then rip the bones out and use them as a club to bash at your head over and over. Meanwhile dogs will defecate in your mouth. Then you will die.

[sonic]

How i would kill you?
I wouldnt. Someone is going to kill you first, I am sure of it.

[Oaken]

Firstly I have no wish to actually kill you Joe...this is just for the sake of the topic

I would sneak into your house and kill you while you slept with an icicle that I made in my freezer. Of course I would have to carry it your house in an ice box or something.....but the icicle would melt, leaving no fingerprints....and the water would have dried up before anyone found you.

[Black Flame]

Congrats!

I came up with this and Ange helped me come up with a twist to it. First, you'll be completely tied up and have a scuba tank on you. Then, you'll be thrown in a vat and have hot jellotine mixture poured on you. You'll be forced to sit there and wait for the mixture to set, having enough air in the tank to only last a day. You'll then die of suffocation. Chances of being caught might be somewhat high unless I pulloff a Jigsaw-from-Saw kind of thing.

[Kitchwa]

1) Buy fresh ammo.

2) Buy gloves and take extra care to not touch the outsides of them.

3) Watch your routine for a while until I knew when you'd be either most alone or in the most public active place.

4) Strike during those times, taking care to not disturb anything of the scene.

5) Reset your post count.

Grats on 10k posts xD

Bullets are useless without a gun

Unless you already have a pre-bought gun

[Shadiel]

You don't yet know Sunscorch is male do you? I think that will change your plot a whole lot.

Naw, I knew.
It's just for the lulz of it.

I say Oaken wins for creativity.

[phalkon]

a drill, a harmonica, an old wicker chair, and a bag of kosher salt.

[Neo]

Well I'd probably go for a Potassium overdose, the only clue in the autopsy would be if they draw from the vitreous humor - fluid in the back of the eye. Other than that it would be a mystery. Well I'll work out the specifics later, that's just my basic plan

[iNextGenWarrior]

Ok if you were remotely close to me I'd offer a vacation to a far away island... But really get you high off ecstasy and circle the bahamas twice to make it seem like we are going far away... Then after we arrived I'd cut your body up into they tiniest pieces and feed it to animals... No trace of a body or anything... If anyone asks... I never met you.

[dolphinbomb]

God, every single one of you have missed one excellent way to kill him: Marine life.

1) Force him to be digested by a giant clam. Slow and excruciating.

2) Raped to death by a male dolphin. Seriously, have you ever seen a dolphin penis? Those things are massive. And prehensile. Slow, excruciating, and humiliating.

[Gen]

Weee

First I would give you anestesics, but one that you can still hear and see, but cannot move or talk. Also this anestegic, who actually exist, let you feel pain. So yea, I would cut you piece by piece laughing a lot
To get to you and put the anestesic, I would come bewhind you with the needle, and put on your neck >=D