31 replies to this topic

[sonic]

Well as everyone has sure heard some were me telling some kind of war story.
I have been back from Iraq since January.

I got married before I left.

Now my wife tells me today over the phone that I should go stay at my friends house cause she does not know if she could be with me. I tell the fuck no, what you fucking think this is, YOUR HOUSE? I said" there is no way I am sleeping anywere else other than were I pay for US to live".

So anyway I'm sitting at my friends house with a suitcase full of my stuff. I wait for him to get off work and there I am. Leg cast and all, sitting on his porch. We go inside, and talk and have a few beers. My wife calls me, and like an idiot I answer. At this point I am scared to death. She has never done anything like this before. So she proceeds to tell me that she wants a devorse and BLAH BLAH BLAH. I mean one second we are fine, and the next second she is all crying and shit. Now I trying to be nice, tell he I love her and that this is a mistake and she is over reacting. That helps nothing. We get off the phone and I am BUMBED out. I am seriously crushed. I didn't know what to think. LUCKILY my phone dies. I don't have my charger neither. So me and a few buddies go to this local bar and we get HAMMERED and shoot some pool. I talk to a few chicks, start feeling a little better, but am still devastated. I get back to my buddies house and i call my voice mail to check it. What do you know, "Hi its Katie. Call me when you get this" and it was in a crying tone. So my soft ass calls her back and we talk. She starts bawling and all that happy horse shit. I stand strong and say she is right and we need a break. I made sure I told her I had a great time at the bar as she was home crying.

The trusting people part comes in like this.
The ENTIRE time this is going on my whole family and all my friends said just give it time, and don't talk to her for a few days. It didn't even take a few days, more like hours. I just could not bring myself to trust all those people. My anxiety was just too much.

So that brings me to another point. Since coming back from Iraq I have had really bad anxiety about everything and nothing. Anyone have any tips on how to deal with that?

[Hydrogen]

Hopefully this all gets resolved for you . But yeah ... trusting people is always good. However, if you need it, you may want to seek a marriage counselor so you guys can get your problems resolved . It's a call you have to make though .

I would definitely say that you need to talk to someone though if you are feeling too anxious and what not. It could be a side affect of the trauma you faced while at war.

[Cyo]

Dunno, get flowers and ask for forgiveness for whatever you allegedly did wrong?

Why is she mad at you anyway? Sorry I didn't find the reason from your story.

[Sweeney]

Forgive me, but telling her you were out partying while she was dealing with her emotions alone at home doesn't seem to me the best way to reconcile your marriage.

[foogie]

lol.

don't marry young.




so many marriages are failing nowadays, there won't be a man left to marry ME who hasnt already been divorced 3 times. D:< I don't want no used goods. D:<

[Cory]

She has never done anything like this before. So she proceeds to tell me that she wants a devorse and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

...I'd leave your ass too.



Your fucking devastated but the first thing you do is go out and get wasted, and talk to some other girls? Sounds like you only got married so that you would have someone back home when you where gone. You really need to prioritize yourself and figure out whats more important. In 30 years she is still going to be around ( well unless you keep fucking up and she leaves you permanently ) she should be the number one thing that matters to you, nothing else should come close.

[Christopher Robin]

...I'd leave your ass too.



Your fucking devastated but the first thing you do is go out and get wasted, and talk to some other girls? Sounds like you only got married so that you would have someone back home when you where gone. You really need to prioritize yourself and figure out whats more important. In 30 years she is still going to be around ( well unless you keep fucking up and she leaves you permanently ) she should be the number one thing that matters to you, nothing else should come close.

Well it's the best way to recovery, to party.

Not really. But I'd probably want to be around my friends, too, if shit was going on like that... and the bar is the best place to hang with guys... unless there's video games at a house The talking to chicks, meh... no comment on that. Not saying it's wrong, not saying it's right...

You say in 30 years she'll still be around... bitch just asked for a divorce... I know I wouldn't let a missus get a free roof in MY house after divorcing me, and I see no way she'd "still be around" in 30 years unless the divorce didn't go ahead...

Forgive me, but telling her you were out partying while she was dealing with her emotions alone at home doesn't seem to me the best way to reconcile your marriage.

We don't know her, but she did it over a phone... you should at least ask for a divorce in person, talking it out and stuff... it's a bitch thing to do, call someone on their cell and say you want a divorce. He could've been at his friends, having fun, or something... how embarrassed would YOU be if your wife called you at your friends and said she wanted a divorce? It's not the best place to find out...

Besides that, I'm sorry, but you don't kick a guy out of HIS house. If you want to do something like that, YOU go out of the house, not the guy.

I got a terrible first impression of this girl now.

Hope it works out, dude... good luck.

[GamerAsh]

Well it's the best way to recovery, to party.

Not really. But I'd probably want to be around my friends, too, if shit was going on like that... and the bar is the best place to hang with guys... unless there's video games at a house The talking to chicks, meh... no comment on that. Not saying it's wrong, not saying it's right...

You say in 30 years she'll still be around... bitch just asked for a divorce... I know I wouldn't let a missus get a free roof in MY house after divorcing me, and I see no way she'd "still be around" in 30 years unless the divorce didn't go ahead...

We don't know her, but she did it over a phone... you should at least ask for a divorce in person, talking it out and stuff... it's a bitch thing to do, call someone on their cell and say you want a divorce. He could've been at his friends, having fun, or something... how embarrassed would YOU be if your wife called you at your friends and said she wanted a divorce? It's not the best place to find out...

Besides that, I'm sorry, but you don't kick a guy out of HIS house. If you want to do something like that, YOU go out of the house, not the guy.

I got a terrible first impression of this girl now.

Hope it works out, dude... good luck.

I agree with this post, but I also hope that it gets better for you.

[Cory]

Well it's the best way to recovery, to party.

Not really. But I'd probably want to be around my friends, too, if shit was going on like that... and the bar is the best place to hang with guys... unless there's video games at a house The talking to chicks, meh... no comment on that. Not saying it's wrong, not saying it's right...

You say in 30 years she'll still be around... bitch just asked for a divorce... I know I wouldn't let a missus get a free roof in MY house after divorcing me, and I see no way she'd "still be around" in 30 years unless the divorce didn't go ahead...

We don't know her, but she did it over a phone... you should at least ask for a divorce in person, talking it out and stuff... it's a bitch thing to do, call someone on their cell and say you want a divorce. He could've been at his friends, having fun, or something... how embarrassed would YOU be if your wife called you at your friends and said she wanted a divorce? It's not the best place to find out...

Besides that, I'm sorry, but you don't kick a guy out of HIS house. If you want to do something like that, YOU go out of the house, not the guy.

I got a terrible first impression of this girl now.

Hope it works out, dude... good luck.

The best way to recover isn't a party. Drinking away your issues does nothing productive.

Yes, I agree being around friends would help you cope a little, but not by getting hammered.

It's not HIS house. It's their house, doesn't matter who paid for it. They are married and as such share the house. Personally I think it's more hers then his as she would have been the one staying in it, taking care of it and generally holding all responsibilities for it while he was away. Also he should be the bigger man and leave. If they do get a divorce then they can discuss the legal issues that surround the house and to rather they will sell it or one will take it.

Why should you ask for a divorce in person? She is going threw a lot of emotional issues right now. One less thing she needs is him verbally abusing her in person. ( not saying that he would, but there is a possibility. As apposed to saying it over the phone or even just sending him the paperwork where if he starts to say shit she can hang up.

If he is more worried about being embarrassed in front of his friends than the woman he "loves" leaving him I think there is something seriously wrong with him.

I don't have a bad impression of her at all. Don't get me wrong on this, I'm not saying it's not her fault this all is happening, but the story is never what one person makes it out to be. Even though she will never read this, I hope her and him the best and if they truly love each other I hope they can work it out and get on with their lives. If not, then hopefully they won't prolong the problems any longer then they have too and can just move on.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

( is it too early for me to get her number? )

[sonic]

...I'd leave your ass too.



Your fucking devastated but the first thing you do is go out and get wasted, and talk to some other girls? Sounds like you only got married so that you would have someone back home when you where gone. You really need to prioritize yourself and figure out whats more important. In 30 years she is still going to be around ( well unless you keep fucking up and she leaves you permanently ) she should be the number one thing that matters to you, nothing else should come close.

Understood. I wrote this post before I had a chance fully sober up and think about what happened. You are right. I did not handle it well. Neither did she. So we will see what happens.

[Cory]

Understood. I wrote this post before I had a chance fully sober up and think about what happened. You are right. I did not handle it well. Neither did she. So we will see what happens.

That really is the main reason I don't think drinking is the solution to shit like this. It's really not bad for you, and probably will help a little bit, but the chances that you say shit you don't mean is what is bad.

Hopefully things work out for you man.

[sonic]

That really is the main reason I don't think drinking is the solution to shit like this. It's really not bad for you, and probably will help a little bit, but the chances that you say shit you don't mean is what is bad.

Hopefully things work out for you man.

I think they are starting to. I am really nervous though. I don't want to get hurt. The idea of being alone is pretty scary.

[Cory]

I think they are starting to. I am really nervous though. I don't want to get hurt. The idea of being alone is pretty scary.

Maybe you shouldn't worry about being alone and worry more about making sure she is the right one?

There are worst things then her leaving now... She could leave in 20 years. Just make sure you love her, and she loves you. If you feel the same for each other then make sure to put your whole heart into it.

[Raillery]

Sonic aren't you young? Maybe you rushed into things

[sonic]

Maybe you shouldn't worry about being alone and worry more about making sure she is the right one?

There are worst things then her leaving now... She could leave in 20 years. Just make sure you love her, and she loves you. If you feel the same for each other then make sure to put your whole heart into it.

It changes. We love eachother alot. I mean I know I love her, and she swears she loves me. I just don't know.

Sonic aren't you young? Maybe you rushed into things

Well Maybe. We have dated for over 2 years.
She stayed faithful while I was in Iraq.
I just thought there was no point in waiting.

[Cory]

It changes. We love eachother alot. I mean I know I love her, and she swears she loves me. I just don't know.

Well if y'all do love each other and both are willing to work it out , then maybe their is a chance. =x Just make sure to be their for her when she needs you, and give her some space when she needs it.

Well Maybe. We have dated for over 2 years.
She stayed faithful while I was in Iraq.
I just thought there was no point in waiting.

Honestly don't let these people get you down with age. I agree that their really isn't much point in waiting.

[Sunset]

Aww hope things work out for the best whem myself and my boyfriend broke up for a week when our little girl was only a few months old it was hard and I never did forget that feeling. We got back together we got a babysitter and did a lot of talking while both being calm and it worked out well.

My opinion (though I dout it matters) is give it time, keep your cools, and talk it out giving each of you a turn to express the way you feel and what was and is bothering you without interruptions

[Tetiel]

Honestly don't let these people get you down with age. I agree that their really isn't much point in waiting.

*winces* there kind of is especially when you're so young... you learned that recently that people aren't exactly who you think they are, right? People still change so much when you're still in puberty which you pretty much are in until some would argue... 25ish.

[sonic]

Aww hope things work out for the best whem myself and my boyfriend broke up for a week when our little girl was only a few months old it was hard and I never did forget that feeling. We got back together we got a babysitter and did a lot of talking while both being calm and it worked out well.

My opinion (though I dout it matters) is give it time, keep your cools, and talk it out giving each of you a turn to express the way you feel and what was and is bothering you without interruptions

The hardest part for me is giving it time. I feel like I should call her all the time and text her and just worry when she does not answer or text back right away. I know its silly but Im afraid that if i give her to much time then she will stop loving me. Everyone tells me the best thing to do is wait for her to call but its hard.

[Sweeney]

*winces* there kind of is especially when you're so young... you learned that recently that people aren't exactly who you think they are, right? People still change so much when you're still in puberty which you pretty much are in until some would argue... 25ish.

An interesting comment coming from you, of all people...

[Christopher Robin]

The best way to recover isn't a party. Drinking away your issues does nothing productive.

Yes, I agree being around friends would help you cope a little, but not by getting hammered.

It's not HIS house. It's their house, doesn't matter who paid for it. They are married and as such share the house. Personally I think it's more hers then his as she would have been the one staying in it, taking care of it and generally holding all responsibilities for it while he was away. Also he should be the bigger man and leave. If they do get a divorce then they can discuss the legal issues that surround the house and to rather they will sell it or one will take it.

Why should you ask for a divorce in person? She is going threw a lot of emotional issues right now. One less thing she needs is him verbally abusing her in person. ( not saying that he would, but there is a possibility. As apposed to saying it over the phone or even just sending him the paperwork where if he starts to say shit she can hang up.

If he is more worried about being embarrassed in front of his friends than the woman he "loves" leaving him I think there is something seriously wrong with him.

I don't have a bad impression of her at all. Don't get me wrong on this, I'm not saying it's not her fault this all is happening, but the story is never what one person makes it out to be. Even though she will never read this, I hope her and him the best and if they truly love each other I hope they can work it out and get on with their lives. If not, then hopefully they won't prolong the problems any longer then they have too and can just move on.

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

( is it too early for me to get her number? )

We're obviously on different levels here...

You said she owns it more cause she takes care of it... HE pays for it. If HE pays for it, I think it's his. He shouldn't be the bigger man and leave, SHE should've been the mature, non-selfish one and left, considering she's the one that wants the divorce. If I wanted a divorce, and I wanted to be a decent person, I wouldn't tell the other one to get out cause I wanted to be alone, I'd LEAVE. The person with the problem deals with it, not cause other people to be uncomfortable so that the one with the problem can be uncomfortable. I agree, him leaving would be the manly thing to do, but it was a bitch move to ask him to stay out, in the first place.

You ask for it in person, because that's the decent thing to do. I never said he was more worried about being embarrassed, it's just the RIGHT thing to do, NOT to cause someone embarrassment in front of their friends. Called decency.

Also, I know there's two sides to the story, which is why I didn't voice what I really think about her, because I know it would probably be wrong, seeing as I don't know her side, and she could be a decent person, other than getting her working husband out of the house so SHE can be comfortable.

[pyke]

lol.

don't marry young.




so many marriages are failing nowadays, there won't be a man left to marry ME who hasnt already been divorced 3 times. D:< I don't want no used goods. D:<

Then don't wait around forever. Leaving the house is the first step.

[Dangard]

I reciently retired from the military and in my job I saw this happen on a regular basis. Either the husband would come home and the wife will have had a meltdown or the husband has a meltdown and can't handle a family after being away. The first place to go is your unit chaplain and family service center.

Being in the military you won't have to pay for help services. You can even try your ... I don't know what branch your in so if it's Navy visit your Command master Chief or Marines your MSGT. I don't remember the ranks for the Army or Air Force.

[Sunset]

The hardest part for me is giving it time. I feel like I should call her all the time and text her and just worry when she does not answer or text back right away. I know its silly but Im afraid that if i give her to much time then she will stop loving me. Everyone tells me the best thing to do is wait for her to call but its hard.

Well honestly don't give it too longfor the simple fact she may think "oh well he don't give a shit about me", and if you REALLY REALLY can't wait call her up and ask how she is, if she seems moody just try and keep her calm tell her when she is ready you want to talk, if she asks about what tell her about how she feelsand the way your feeling. If/when that happen LISTEN TO HER EVERY WORD (oh try and talk face to face in private not over the phone), don't jump at her even is something she something that pisses you off. Stop and think about what she is saying... then express the way you fell .... sorry if i am sounding like a femal version of dr. phill but a lot of times that women get pissed off and is close to leaving is because the guys are just not understanding what we are trying to express.

[Black Flame]

I'm sorry Sonic. I pray that everything works out for you.

As for young love, I believe it is possible to get married young and stay together forever. Granted it doesn't happen a lot, but it does happen.