I remember the old days when spam was easy to detect.
WANT UR PEN1S L4RGER? BUY NOW!
Then they got smarter and realized that if you just send a link you'll get picked up by the SPAM filter. Then they started adding random word clouds above and below their advertisement link.
Lately in my Inbox, though, I've had a few aberrations that make me wonder what the fuck they're trying to sell. There are no links. There are no malicious attachments. These seem like people are just randomly emailing me.
Take this creepy example:
Good afternoon Jeremy Do you remember that beautiful holiday? My name is Maybelle. I'm witty, wine lover, am hooked on the Wii, and educated gal. Contact me, my soulmate... Bye-bye, Maybelle.
First off, she knew my name, so this isn't just a random BCC. This may, however be a clever mass mailing system. And by clever I mean retarded. Where is the link to the pill that will make me satisfy Maybelle Nygaard?
I thought this was an aberration from the norm, but today I got another of these emails that seem to just be desperate foreign women.
This one's long, so I'm putting it in a spoiler.
Spoiler
Hello))! I do not know much about you, but I hope find out more about you. I very much want will get acquainted with you more!! To tell the truth, I do not know much about computers.... But I have finished computer rates, and now I can work with e-mail. Unfortunately, I have no MSN and YAHOO..... And also other service as I write you letters not from my computer!! I wish to write to you that several days ago I have written to one man. But he why that has not answered me. I was not upset and have written to you!!!! I have no a lot of time for the Internet and consequently I can understand your letters not up to the end at once. Therefore now I write at once you the urgent answer! I hope this letter has begun our friendly relations . Now it is a little about me: I live in Russia in the city of Moscow. I work in a beauty salon, my profession the hairdresser the stylist. I very much it and me very much am pleasant my trade !! Also I have finished institute it is our Moscow humanitarian university of trade unions, I studied at journalism faculty. But unfortunately I do not work on the profession as during study it was necessary to earn money and to me the hairdresser the stylist)) was necessary to study one more profession on an evening school!!! If I am fair in it it has reached the big results and probably my basic profession!!!! At school and institute I studied English language. I hope you you can understand, that I write to you. I am 5,6 ' am high (or 170 sm). My weight 119 f (or 54 kg). To me of 27 years, my birthday - on April, 12th. I am at horoscope Aries, and who are you?! I apologise for set of questions but only so I can find out more about you and about your life!! I wish to ask to tell to me about a place you now live?? And I in turn as I will try to describe to you all that happen in our country and a city in which I live!! Also I will attach which I have pictures, in this the letter they have been photographed recently. I very cheerful and devoted person, very much love, when people smile After all in a life us surrounds many malicious and bad people, which somehow want affect on us to bring down us from a vital rhythm. But it is not necessary to give in to such people and the more so to try to resemble them, you agree with me? I almost try to go every summer on the black sea, on work to all employees every summer give out permits in sanatorium and rest houses.!! I like to bathe on the sea, but unfortunately not always it turns out to go on rest in the summer. At us it is a lot of employees and amount permits it is limited. And you like to bathe on a beach?! What at you hobby, and what work at you? I wish to tell to you that I go in for sports and sometimes I go to a swimming pool which is near to my house, it very much is pleasant to me! And still I like to behave in the sports form and I am engaged in morning gymnastics. It gives me energy for all day and good mood!! Whether write to me please is at you what or sports hobbies and what kind of sports most of all it is pleasant to you? I wish to tell to you that I do not smoke and almost I do not drink alcohol. Sometimes only on holidays I drink little bit sparkling or wine. But I do not condemn people which smoke, possible it is pleasant to them !!! Simply I when did not smoke in a life and I do not know these sensations !! I want will get acquainted with the man for creation of a family or friendly relations. You know, I read much and heard from acquaintances that foreign men are more predisposed to a family and family relations. They more responsible also can create a happy and safe family! I tried to find the good man to Russia but all my attempts came to an end with failure. Bad luck in it or the man the alcoholic or the tyrant which strongly came across to me was jealous and oppressed me. But about it I do not wish to write, if to you interestingly that I will tell to you later.... I very much hope that I have not tired you with the letter and the thoughts, but I simply very much wish to tell more to you about myself and about that that I think.!! Ok, I when it was not married and at me was not children. I love honesty in everything, it was not as though bad. I wish to write a little about the culinary abilities. I very much like to cook food, I can prepare many tasty dishes. Most of all I like to prepare meat dishes, and I know many recipes Besides I like to prepare which that special, a barbecue, a goose filled with apples. I often prepare dishes from our national cuisine, these are mushrooms fried with a potato and a borsch. You when or ate such dishes?! Also I wish to ask you about your national cuisine, tell to me about it? From fruit I love, apples, oranges, tangerines and a pear. I am assured, that I can be the good housewife and the wife !! And what about you?! I stop to write the letter, I very much tried to tell about myself and the life and sincerely I hope to you it it is pleasant... Your new friend from Russia, Yuliya.
P.S. I send you in this letter the photos I hope they to you will like. And also I very much would like to see more than your photos!
This actually happened to my brothers friend... some girl from Russia emailed him, but she gave him a link to her Facebook, he talked to her on there for like 3 weeks, he paid for her to come here, they got married and a month later she disappeared with his money and everything. Its a scam for them to like quickly become naturalized US citizens... its ridiculous the things people do these day.
I think someone signed you up for a mail order bride service...
As a minor update, I emailed Maybelle back and got no reply.
I'll let you know how things go with Yuliya, though XD
jcrgirl speaks Russian so there is certainly an opportunity for things to get interesting if I get replies back.
This actually happened to my brothers friend... some girl from Russia emailed him, but she gave him a link to her Facebook, he talked to her on there for like 3 weeks, he paid for her to come here, they got married and a month later she disappeared with his money and everything. Its a scam for them to like quickly become naturalized US citizens... its ridiculous the things people do these day.
Why would anyone get married to someone within a month or two? He was asking to get scammed on that one.
This actually happened to my brothers friend... some girl from Russia emailed him, but she gave him a link to her Facebook, he talked to her on there for like 3 weeks, he paid for her to come here, they got married and a month later she disappeared with his money and everything. Its a scam for them to like quickly become naturalized US citizens... its ridiculous the things people do these day.
I'm not a US citizen. Can I marry you and get my citizenship? I promise I'll stick around FOREVER and ever. <3
And boy do I feel sorry for that dude. I can understand being desperate, but not "marry a stranger after two months" desperate.
My parents got married after knowing each other for 6 weeks. They lasted 20 years... But I suppose with him being in the Army for all 20 of those years, he was there less than half the time lol
And boy do I feel sorry for that dude. I can understand being desperate, but not "marry a stranger after two months" desperate.
Haha! Its so hard but I loved it!
Yea, it is pretty sad, I felt super sorry for him when it all happened. I only found out because he moved in with my brother after everything "happened". On the other hand my sister got married to someone she only knew for 2 months, and they have been married for 5 1/2 years now, 2 adopted boys, and they had a baby girl 10 months ago. But then again with them I think its true love
Well this seems like an interesting combination. I would love to know how a relationship works with you exactly...
I'm just sort of holding out for "that" person. I have been hurt and I have hurt, I am super jealous and over protective of those who I have been in a relationship with, but at the same time I have never put them above my own needs. As you can see I am a strange person if you haven't already come to that conclusion
lol I've gotten a few like those that are cam girls. If you email them back they'll generally send another email that seems personal but doesn't make any sense if you say really strange things to them.
me: "hi, I'm 5 years old and i like the color blue, whats your favorite color?"
them: "Hey baby, I'm so glad you replied, we should talk on msn..."
The first sounds like maybe you paid some spammers for something in the past.
After spending a few hours talking to some gold farmers in wow I became marked as someone who likes personal contact and I would get long conversations before they would tell me what they were selling. I learned a lot about the life of working in a chinese cubical. I started getting gold farmer love letters similar to the first one you posted shortly after.
The first sounds like maybe you paid some spammers for something in the past.
This is the internet. I don't pay for shit, so I have no idea where that first one came from.
Me and my friend were just talking about the penis enlargement spam. He was like LOL I don't need another 3 inches, i'd spear you!
Luckily most to all of the penis enlargement spam gets filtered out in the filters. This leaves more time for reading interesting spam and boning from across the room with my massive pill-enhanced boner.
I dont know what those odd emails are getting at there, I usually dont read my email period though, unless I need to activate something or change a password. But I don't think I'll be getting married either. At least not till I'm like 30 or so. We'll see, if we're all not dead by 2012.
I spy with my little eye, an ashtray in Yuliya's first picture and a pack of Marlboro Reds on her dresser in the second picture.
You get +1 for the second observation alone.
Yuliya smiles in neither of her pictures, which she very much hopes you like.
This also bothered me. You would think that if you want to impress a future husband or sumshit you should act like you have a good time occasionally. I'm really glad you took the time to read the entire email like I did. It really is an interesting pitch. She takes a little time to introduce herself, then she goes for the marriage jugular without saying "I need a green card marry me NAO"
